Monday 20 May 2013

Lesson 2: Do it anyway

Caring is difficult and risky. It calls us to act, to face challenges, to have hardships, to overcome, to experience victory, to love, to hate, to change and to feel. The Strong, Free and Happy tour is happening because so many people care. Also because so many people care, there are challenges to making it happen. I feel okay with taking the associated risks because I wholeheartedly believe this is the way to live.

"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of alterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some untrue friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people my deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some my be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

-Mother Teresa.

Lesson 1: Life's Good

I just want to put it out there that life is good. There are certainly a lot of hardships but our world is also full of wonder, sparkles and smiles.
 
 (Just to reiterate: Yep I did seriously write sparkles, smiles and wonder. There are puppies and rainbows, too . . . and every now and then you can spot the sun shining out of someone's . . . errrr. . . behind) 
 
It doesn't take much to melt my heart. I'm not really sure how to continue this blog other than listing some good things in existence and daring you to take the time to think about each one - or better yet - post what you're thankful for. Now, smile. Without trying to sound too "Book of Awesome"ish, here are a few reasons why the world is good.
 
1. A child's smile. Better yet, a child's laugh. Kids need a lot of taking care of but they help adults as much as adults help them. Seeing their whole face light up and hearing that carefree belly laugh can certainly melt away the day's worries.
2. You're smile
3. Relationships. Whether it be connection with a parent, sibling, significant other or sharing some small-talk with a stranger, connection is key.
4. Humor
5. Cheese
6. Nature. Think of a nice crisp morning. The sun is rising, birds are chirping, grass sparkles with dew, cool fresh air fills you nostrils to lungs.
7. Better yet, add a run. I am so thankful for my physical abilities and the opportunities I have to train.
8. Good food!
9. Shelter
10. Water
11. Faith. Really, I experience God in all of the above but it's worth a direct mention.
 
Not everyone has all of these but some can be found even in the crappiest of situations, as long as we remember to look.
What are you thankful for?

Regards to the Omelas

Sitting in the sunshine and light breeze on the shore of Lake Erie this balmy May 24 weekend, I can't help but remember the ones who walk away from the Omelas.
 
The ones who walk away from the Omelas are no ordinary people. They are a group in a (fictional) storey who leave a euphoric community after learning that their paradise only exists because of the hardships of someone more vulnerable. I can relate.
 
 To understand, I urge you read 'The ones who walk away from the Omelas,' by Ursula LeGuin (a mature read).
http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/faculty/dunnweb/rprnts.omelas.pdf
 
 After reading this, I was asked which person I would be: one who walked away, or the one who continued to live with the Omelas. (Feel free to ask yourself the same question.) I am not sure if staying or leaving is more effective but it is my nature to take some course of action. The Strong, Free Happy tour is part of how I'm doing that.
 
Probably the most common question I get about the Strong Free Happy tour is 'Why." My response when people ask about my motivations is really a bunch of things including academic and professional background plus personal experiences. Above all though, the driving force is the desire to share the mental health strategy that has been so beneficial in my own life.
 
Over the past few years, my eyes have been wrenched open to a select few of the  cruelties in our world. And I believe these select few are quite moderate in comparison to what else is out there. As the protected and caring person I am,  I was struck by these experiences- and their prevalence.  Like those in the storey, I  felt confused, shameful, frustrated, restless, helpless and hopeless. This led to anger with myself and those closest to me, plus a deep sadness.
I had never wanted to be a person who simply watched and accepted the hardships of others. I hated myself for being so dependant yet restless and bitter.  I wanted to be someone who took some kind of action, but it was really hard to function. Lasting symptoms of depression (3 months intense homesickness, followed by ~ 8 months helplessness, hopelessness, sadness etc with some highs here and there) led me to see a counsellor and eventually a psychiatrist. Medication was an option but I didn't want that. I wanted to be able to help myself so I went home with a list of lifestyle strategies. Journaling and other readings helped me to comprehend my feelings while exercise helped with my confidence, optimistic outlook and lasting interruptions in those vicious cycles of negative thought. Knowing the pain I and so many others have been though, having bounced back to a more understanding, optimistic and thankful self, plus having the freedom/responsibility to share these experiences leads me to the Strong, Free and Happy tour for Mental Health.
 
So, on this beautiful day, I plan a bike ride across the country to share some lessons learned. 
 
I hope you enjoy this and further musings.
 
Cheers,
 
Jess